Help Me With My Teenager:
A Step-by-step Guide For Parents That Works
Christina Botto
http://www.helpwithteenagers.com/
Ebook: 47 pages 
Print :  144 pages ISBN: 0-9788465-0-8

For too many parents of teenagers, conflict is an everyday occurrence. For author Christina Botto, this became unacceptable. A single mother of two, she set out to understand the mind of the teenager in order to create a better relationship with her daughters. Not only did she get answers, she got results. Word spread, and Botto became a sought-after mediator between parents and teens. Her findings and results from 14 years of working with teens and their parents are outlined in Help Me With My Teenager: A Step-by-step Guide For Parents That Works, an absolute must-read for parents of teens and pre-teens. 

Botto’s main point is simple yet key: Parents can either continue “business as usual,” which will exasperate and distance teens, or parents can learn how to deal constructively with this age group. By doing the latter, parents take the initiative to build a trusting and even enjoyable relationship with their teenager. Botto emphasizes that childhood is over and your teen is a new creation. If you keep treating your teenager like a child, you unwittingly push him away or push her to rebel. A shift in attitude in the parent goes a long way in improving the behavior of the teenager. 

The author builds on this vital epiphany with plenty of real-life examples garnered from her years of working in conflict resolution with her own daughters, their friends, and their friends’ parents. Botto clearly shows how parents’ best intentions can backfire if they don’t have the right skills set for this important life stage. For example, there’s the case of a daughter and her overprotective father. His heart was in the right place; he just wanted to keep her safe. But by severely restricting her, he took away her freedom to choose, and she turned into an angry daughter. She went from straight-A student with a promising future to frustrated rebel who left home at 18 and got pregnant at 19. Her father’s extreme measures backfired.   

Through her no-nonsense, compassionate approach, Botto shows you how to avoid such tragedies. She reveals:

Ø      How to get your teen to communicate with you again, even if all he ever says anymore is “Fine” and “Nothing”

Ø      How to diffuse an especially explosive situation through humor, flexibility, and the ability to think outside the box

Ø      How your teen processes the world

Ø      What you should never say to your teen

Ø      How to help your teen take responsibility for her choices and actions

Ø      Why your teen needs you more than ever – even if he acts otherwise

Ø      How to have fun again with your teen. 

The author delves into clothes, driving, and other hot topics, showing how you and your teen can handle these areas without getting into major battles. She also dispels many myths and misconceptions. For example, your son’s well-dressed, clean-cut friend may be doing drugs, while his gothic-attired pal may be clean and sober. There’s no way to tell by the clothes, Botto cautions, so get to know your teen’s friends before passing judgment. 

As a parent of a teenager and a pre-teen, I found Help Me With My Teenager to be right on target. I like that Botto’s focus is twofold: the wellbeing of your teenager, and the wellbeing of your parent-teen relationship. If you want to continue to foster a close relationship with your growing child built on trust and respect, help your teen successfully navigate through these confusing and exciting years, and genuinely be there for your teen, this guide is for you. Easy to read, it dives right into solutions without making you jump through impossible hoops to get results.  

Even though parents of teenagers will comprise most of the book’s readership, there’s plenty in this guide to benefit others as well. If you’re a middle school or high school teacher, a school counselor, even a parent of young children, read Help Me With My Teenager. It will give you excellent insights to help you with the teens you’re working with, or it will teach you valuable skills you’ll need in a few short years. 

Christina Botto’s Help Me With My Teenager is the guide to start with. For some parents, it’s the only guide you’ll need. For others, it’s the perfect starting point. Regardless of where you are in your relationship with your teenage child, Botto offers solutions that work. Try her strategies—they’re not difficult—and you’ll likely soon observe a change for the better in your household. Your child’s teen years don’t have to be unbearable. By reading this valuable guide and making a few adjustments in your parenting approach, you can ease the way for both you and your teen. 

Review by Graciela Sholander
For Independent Professional Book Reviewers

www.bookreviewers.org
09/12/06